Day 173 - The Window

PHOTO: Santa Rosa, CA. Digital.

I walked by at first quickly only glancing to see inside the abandoned store front. It was only the mere glimmer of the other window across the room that sparked my eye, and then the scene played out in front of me. The reflection became so intricate that it confused my eye and inspired my thoughts. The boys stood a distance away not aware of what I was taking a picture of, and not wanting to be any part of it. I stood at an angle to the window, so as not to include myself either and fooled around with exposures until I got the right shot. It is the only picture that was successful that day in Santa Rosa. We left immediately afterwards to head back to our home 3 hours away.

Day 170- Days like these are Priceless

PHOTO: Old Roseville, CA. Digital.


They are the days you wish you could have back when the time turns to nothing and your looking down the steep ass end of that hill you have been climbing, or in fact chasing. I have been racing up my hill, and I know I quite possibly am looking at another 70 years of doing this, but in case I am not I would like to stop. I would like to stop running towards my next life goal and just let it come to me. In an ideal world this would be possible. To stop is impossible in today's society. If you stop you stand the chance of being trampled by a heap of trendsetting hipsters who are off to design the new technological fad. No one would live through that nightmare, and if you did you would find yourself lost in a world where you know nothing and can't for the life of you understand what the people are saying. To avoid this from happening you only really need and can one thing...and that is to Slow down. Find your happy place and go there often.

166- Downtown

PHOTO: Sacramento,CA. Digital.

That particular day downtown was unlike any other she had experienced. She drove down the streets with a certain knowledge that today was going to be different, but with a feeling in her stomach like she was going to be sick. As she drove into the parking lot the feeling only worsened. She found the first parking spot, and immediately pulled out her phone. She pressed call on a familiar number, and waited anxiously for him to pick up. She knew he would be there, and she knew that he would know just how to deal with her anxious nerves. "Are you busy?" She urgently asked as he answered the phone. "Can you read something to me?" She was so nervous she wouldn't even let him finish his sentences. "Can you read me what I wrote the other day?" He hesitated and answered yes politely. "Hold on I have to find it." She patiently waited for his voice to speak her words aloud. Finally he started to read slowly bringing validity to her as each word was spoken. The nausea disappeared and she remembered that day on the parking garage. Her brain cleared, as if a giant wave had just swept over her mind and washed away the dirt and grime that built up on the shores. "Thank you," she said. He explained his understanding and concluded the conversation with calming words. "Know this," he said, "once this is finished you will be a completely different person."

Day 164- The Green Chair.

PHOTO: Clarksburg, CA. Digital.

The green chair was so exciting. It was my favorite kind of green, and it looked like it had been very well used. Someone loved that chair. In fact, I loved that chair. I wanted to take it home with me, and display it in all of its glory. It would have looked so nice. I can picture exactly how it would have looked sitting next to a full bookshelf, and a nice black desk with papers nicely organized on top. However, that chair belonged to someone else, and it looked so comfortable in its surroundings that I couldn't bear to move it....not even to get a better picture. So I snapped my mediocre picture and stood for a moment inspecting closely at all the subtleties I had previously missed. I noticed the intricate details in the rusted metal, and how the color brought out the speckles of green paint that remained intact. I then noticed the details in the fabric and leather. I hoped that I captured all these details in my picture, but knew if I didn't it would just give me an excuse to go down and sit with this particular chair again.

Day 161- Group Projects

PHOTO: Clarksburg, CA. Digital Canon Rebel XTi.

Should not exist...ever. They are a horrible idea. They are designed to teach team work and leadership, but really the only thing you learn is who cares and who doesn't care. Just like everything else in life the people who actually care do all the work, and the people who don't care take credit for it. Not this time. I shall not sit idle and keep my mouth shut like I always do. No, Not this time. I work too hard to not take credit for my own doings. Even if they were wrong I was responsible and it is I who shall take the blame. I will wash my hands clean in my own dirty sink and step forth as the one who cared too much.

Day 158- The Subtle Sounds in Silence

It is hard to find actual silence. In fact, it is my believe that there is always sound, and this idea of silence is just that: an idea. Even when you think your in silence there are noises that aren't being accounted for, such as the sound of your breath and the subtle beat of your heart.

Day 155 - The Rain

It has such a beautiful sound. It's own symphony orchestrated by drops of water as they fall from the sky and hit the earth and the things that cover it's surface. This is water at one of it's better sides, but I know that tonight when I go to sleep I will be awoken by it's evils.

Around 1A.M. I will hear it drip for the first time from the heater that occupies the space above my ceiling, and from then on it will be timely and consistent for the next 6 hours. It is amazing how multiple drops of water from the sky are so beautiful, but the simple sound of one drop dripping away annoys you till no end.

Day 154- To Finally See Yourself

A man and a women stand at the top of a parking garage talking of marijuana. Suddenly the women comes to a conclusion. The conclusion that she is no longer afraid. She stares down at the street below and makes idle conversation, but in the back of her head the only thing she thinks of is fearlessness. This is a word she never thought she would apply to herself, but today has changed her. Today she broke free of the everyday and made a run for the hills screaming the whole way in elation. Today she finally saw herself the way she always pictured. Independent, Courageous and ever so slightly smart, and all it took was a simple glance down at the street below. A simple glance down that she might not have taken on any other day but today.

Day 150- A Light Tap

PHOTO: Taken in Marysville, CA with a Canon Rebel XTi with a Lens Baby Composer.

reminded me of where I was. I often forget as I am writing my placement in the world, and am brought back by a sudden small noise only to be reminded that I am at school. However, my place at school is one of great safety, or at least in my opinion. In fact sometimes it feels so safe here that I can't bear to break away and make my dreary car ride home. Once I cut myself away from my safety net I glide into a careless state of insight. Insight that often becomes so deep that I try to tune my own thoughts out by turning my music up as loud as I can. Music doesn't halt the thoughts, but make it so I can ignore them. The ignoring can only go so far though considering the next morning I am back in that hour long period of over indulged selfishness.